Year 2, Day 19. The one where I start to catch up.

(I'm dating these retroactively so I can keep the timeline straight in my head)

There is an annoying thing that happens to me when I get so far behind at something I know I should be doing, instead of parceling it down into a managable bite I often look at the big picture and then try to get myself motivated enough to take on the whole thing. However while I'm working that side of the issue the mountain continues to grow and so I'm stuck racing the growth of the problem with my frustration over it existing in the first place. Eventually I become so dissatisfied with it that I will tackle the beast and usually knock it out (or at least do a decent job of chiseling a bunch of it away) in one swoop... Unfortunately for us both this blog has been that sort of problem the last few weeks and thus it'll take some determined writing (and likely rambling) on my part to get us caught up.

Last week as you might have noticed I began to get a bit behind on writing due to increased levels of stress and a severe lack of rest... It was a trying week due to the curveballs I already talked about and as the week of directing grew closer I more and more felt like I had two things to do and without decent closure on the week we were in the midst of I couldn't press into the next thing with anything close to the attention it deserved and that began to wear on me incredibly hard on thursday night and friday morning. Perhaps appropriately while I was at my worst and ping-ponging between frustration and plodding through routine tasks as best I could the opportunities for worship and spiritual renewal that I stumbled across were richer and more powerful that I could have ever anticipated.

By friday morning I was tired, sore, and was struggling to see how I could get through what I needed to while safeguarding some of my energy for the too-large to-do list I had for the weekend. Thankfully my condition was noticed by my dear friends here at camp and I was ordered to sit down and quantify for others what was eating at me. As soon as I had done so my cleaning responsibility for the week was completed for me and I had a huge outpouring of assistance in clearing the final hurdles to get a week of camp started. I recall being angry at myself for not being able to bring my best to bear at the time... but in hindsight I did, it just wasn't very good. Also, It was good for me to see others doing great things despite me, A theme that ran throughout the following week, but I get ahead of myself.

Friday afternoon me and my co-director Molly were in a suburban headed out to Casper to help haul some camper and staff luggage home and to give us some time to touch base and then go shopping for our supplies for the week. We talked, argued a bit, laughed a bit, ate tasty food (5 guys) and then headed home. As I collapsed into bed I felt a small measure of peace for the first time in days.

To be continued...