Today was a fairly hectic day. I'm not sure if it's because I've got more going on, or if i'm getting old (something I've been accused of a few times). It started out bright and early at 7 am as a gratifyingly large group of the guy staff got together for a morning devotion... We decided to start in Ephesians and then see where we go from there. By now I shouldn't be amazed at the kindred spirits that tend to gravitate toward camp... but at the same time, I was surprised and glad to see how many of the guys stumbled down and hopped right in on the discussion. The Father truly has equipped and brought the right team together here.
After a few sessions of training covering a lot of information, from codes of conduct to taking the evaluation to determine love languages (according to the test I've got a nearly 4-way tie) and a discussion over how to encourage each other, until about 3 pm when we found out that due to some frustrating circumstances the other wrangler for the summer would need to be picked up from his home in ault, colorado. So myself and Martha (a faithful reader of this blog) hopped in her faithful vehicle and zipped over there and back, and I realized that I once again appear to be blessed with a wrangler who is far more of a cowboy than I will ever be. It's a wonderful problem to have, and I am excited about the journey ahead.
We returned to camp just in time to see a fire blazing merrily in the fire pit and as we unloaded and stretched our legs I noticed the mostly-melodic sound of worship songs drifting through the crisp evening air. Our fearless leaders Captain Tibbs, and Karisa shared a bit of their stories and encouraged us from their experiences and I had an idea that I will explain to you here.
As they shared their familiar and still amazing stories I decided that as a good follower of that example I'd share a bit of my story periodically with you. I waffled between opening with talking about my childhood camp and the impact those times had on my life... or writing about the last year and the intense journey that it has been, but I decided that I'd tell the story of how I ended up here at this camp in the summer of 2011.
To set the stage, I have been involved in camp for a very large portion of my life. I began to attend camp very young and as soon as I was able I began to work for the same camp I grew up attending. Even after I graduated high school camp was very close to my heart and I made the time to frequently help out whenever I could. Unfortunately when I moved to Spearfish for college I lost track of my childhood camp, and despite being a bit nostalgic and saddened by the loss of camp as a part of my summer I honestly felt like God had closed that door for that time. I missed camp... but it was time to grow up and move on.
After working fairly hard at school for a number of years I seemed to hit a wall emotionally, for a host of reasons (which I won't go into great detail about) I slipped into a dark season of my life. I became very frustrated with where my life was, and depressed about the futility of continuing in my current path. This season became so intense that I failed nearly a whole semester of classes due to being incapable of attending classes and my outlook being so dreary that at times I even found grocery shopping to be an incredible burden. As the year went on and this continued to ripple through my life my family and friends grew increasingly concerned (and with very good cause in hindsight) but I was fairly resistant to any offers of help or even admitting that I was in need of help. However early in the spring I remember very clearly waking up in the morning and feeling incredibly refreshed and aware, something I hadn't felt in months. I remember lying there and feeling like God was speaking to me and saying "get up, this is finished".
Now I wouldn't go so far as to say that I heard an audible voice, but I do remember this incredibly clearly... I got up and went about my day and never sunk back to that place again. I can feel that place, or see that dark corner in my spirit from time to time but all it is now is an awareness of that place... I don't have any desire or necessity to live in that condition again.
Very shortly thereafter I received a call from a dear brother in Christ who informed me that he had given my number to some friends of his who were looking for a wrangler to come help with their horse program. He also informed me that he had been praying about it and that he felt it would be in my best interest to go do it. If I recall correctly he told me "when they call you, you need to tell them yes". Since he was (and still is) one of the few people who can say things like that to me... I prayed about it and took his advice... and a few short months later I began my first summer here at this camp. It's been a delightful rabbit hole... and the adventure is just beginning.
-Nick
p.s. I also shaved off my beard... and my face feels nekkid. I might post a picture tomorrow...
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