Today is Father's day. A day that took on a whole new potency a few short years ago and now is among a host of gradually developing routines as one of the few days of the year that I have designated for grief. The day grew into a bit of a weekend this year, as explained in the last post… but such is life eh?
I spent most of the day with a good friend of mine and his young son. We ran a few errands, talked a lot, and visited the grave of my Dad. While we were on top of the hill chuckling about the little one's attempts to eat the decorative rocks and his dismay when his own father prevented that exploration. We spoke of Dad's impact on his life and mine and we talked about the oddity of us visiting a little niche in a wall where the dusty remains of Dad sit. And I had a bit of clarity there as I explained why I visit the site… and why such things are important to me.
We talked about how when Dad first passed it shook my entire world. How the stories and the struggles all seemed to center around that loss. How it prevented my return to work for a period, and how I have my carefully curated triggers that bring the loss flooding back. How I can't remember crying much before Dad died, I can almost cry on command now… (and to be honest I'm a better person because of it) But in this context I also talked about how the grave is significant because I cannot live with that grief all the time.
Even when it was fresh the ache and the tears always led to a sense of numbness that wrapped the world in a shade of gray and the fuzzy silence that reminds me of floating in a pool with your ears submerged. I grew capable of feeling the loss, for a moment at a time, and then for more… I stopped hoping that Dad would be standing there every time I walked around the corner in mum and his house. I began to be ok with little rememberances like wearing a coat of his that mom gave me… His birthday came and went and I almost forgot this last year. And that is all to the good.
I think we need graveyards because they allow us a place to take all of that hurt, and loss and pain, and lock it away for the days when it is appropriate to dwell there. Days like today… where I had the honor of seeing the complete normalcy of a Dad holding his screaming kid and speaking calmly to him that he loved him, and that once the little guy was calm he'd be allowed to play within the boundaries he had been given. A day where I couldn't have stopped the tears if I wanted to; and I certainly didn't want to. Because there is a season for everything under heaven, and for today, for me, it is a day for mourning.
And if you are reading this with a sense of slightly confused sympathy, I'm happy for you. I really am. And I hope that pleasant naivete lasts as long as it can. But someday you'll know the truth of this whole process in a way that I would not wish on anyone. But in that day, when the light seems a little dimmer and the noise of creation is a little bit quieter, take the time to grieve. Because even the Lord of the universe wept at the grave of his friend.
Most importantly today was also a day to walk away from that grave, to get back into the car and to move on. Because I don't live on that hill, and no one does except memories and dust. And that is a wonderful thing too. Because my Redeemer lives, and in my Heavenly Father's house are many rooms… and somewhere up there an ever increasing group of men and women that I love are living a life that I cannot even begin to imagine. But for today I must walk the path appointed for me, in the manner that they taught me to. And that too is a powerful thing. And one that includes, but is not limited to, a hillside in South Dakota.
Sunday, June 21, 2015
Saturday, June 20, 2015
A painful place to start again.
It is a particularly odd exercise to find myself writing again… It has been a very long time and to be perfectly honest I'm not even sure how long it has been. I have recently been reminded that due to circumstances this summer I have deprived my (admitedly tiny) audience of my questionably literate ramblings about camp this summer.
Unfortunately this is not due to the lack of ability to write, it is due to the lack of ability to be in attendance at camp for the fullness of the summer. And while I hope to be more present at camp in years to come… this may be the end of being able to take full seasons and spend them in that way. Just one of many things that I am currently in the process of internalizing and properly mourning; and on that list the topic of camp is a relatively minor concern, which should indicate the importance of the list itself. However those are topics for another post, and I shall relegate them thusly. Instead I have a more timely topic and I shall focus on it.
Today was a day where a great man was memorialized and buried. Earlier this week Marvin Reinhold, A man I always knew as Grandpa (or very occasionally as Tige), passed away. And while by all accounts this was as normal of a death as could be expected it still hurt. Grandpa Reinhold was 85 years old and the last time I saw him he had a sparkle in his eye that easily rivals my two year-old nephew for mischief and joy. Grandpa and his wife were among the heart and soul of a camp ministry called Rainbow Bible Ranch, a place I called home for many years. I must that particular camp was a training ground for much of what I am even today. We mourned Grandma Reinhold back in 2004 and now we mourn the loss of Grandpa. And as grief is odd and hard to translate into anything coherent I will instead fall back on one of the old cliches and tell you who Grandpa was to me by telling a story.
At some point in the past, the late 90's or so I was at Rainbow for a week of camp. By this time I had already attended several summers and had fallen in love with the annual ritual of attending camp, riding horses, and growing spiritually in ways that took the rest of the year to fully process. This year was no exception, and as the normal camp routine on thursday night dictated we watched a movie called The Harvest. Even then I knew the story well, so I listened to it more than I actually watched and let my thoughts drift around the themes the story discussed. At the end the staff always use the film to present the gospel and allow the opportunity for campers to respond and have one on one conversations. Although I was quite assured of my salvation I took advantage of the opportunity to talk to a staff member and discuss what had been stirring in my heart and what we in Christian circles summarize as "the call". Well that night I ended up paired with Grandpa Reinhold.
He looked at me with those gentle eyes that always seemed to look right into the depths of your soul and loved you anyway. He asked me what was on my heart, and I rambled for what felt like hours. I told him how I didn't know why or how it would look but that I felt called into some kind of ministry, and even though I had no clue what that would lead to (and in some ways I still don't) I knew the next step was to work there. Grandpa just looked at me, and with absolutely no condemnation, ridicule, or doubt just smiled and then placed both of his huge hands on my shoulders and began to pray over me. And the next year (whenever it was) I started on the road to working at camp. It was a long journey and one fraught with devastation and triumph. I grew a lot at that camp, and through that time Grandpa was often a voice of comfort and encouragement. Even when my confidence in myself wavered, or when I had done something incredibly stupid Grandpa would smile and with surprising gentleness would spur us on to greater things.
The craziest thing about this story? It's not unique at all. In my own memory it is one sliver of almost a decade of time spent there at that camp, and these moments were so frequent as to be almost taken for granted. I say almost because they always meant the world to us every time they happened. The other thing you should know (and I suspect some of you might) is that my experience was only one of (at minimum) hundreds of others who experienced the same. If the greatness of a man is measured in how he does justly, loves mercy, and walks humbly with God then Grandpa Reinhold was among the greatest men I have ever known. And in the same way that I cannot wait to meet my own Father on the other side of this mortal coil as a man whole and without sickness, I cannot wait to see all of the stories I was told fully realized and see the soul reunited with a body that can finally keep up.
But tragically, that day is not today… So, farewell Grandpa. my mentor, my guide, my example, my encourager, my brother in christ, and my friend. I will see you again. But not yet… Instead may we all be worthy of the mantle you passed to each and every one of us that grew up under your teaching. You are missed, and you are loved.
Unfortunately this is not due to the lack of ability to write, it is due to the lack of ability to be in attendance at camp for the fullness of the summer. And while I hope to be more present at camp in years to come… this may be the end of being able to take full seasons and spend them in that way. Just one of many things that I am currently in the process of internalizing and properly mourning; and on that list the topic of camp is a relatively minor concern, which should indicate the importance of the list itself. However those are topics for another post, and I shall relegate them thusly. Instead I have a more timely topic and I shall focus on it.
Today was a day where a great man was memorialized and buried. Earlier this week Marvin Reinhold, A man I always knew as Grandpa (or very occasionally as Tige), passed away. And while by all accounts this was as normal of a death as could be expected it still hurt. Grandpa Reinhold was 85 years old and the last time I saw him he had a sparkle in his eye that easily rivals my two year-old nephew for mischief and joy. Grandpa and his wife were among the heart and soul of a camp ministry called Rainbow Bible Ranch, a place I called home for many years. I must that particular camp was a training ground for much of what I am even today. We mourned Grandma Reinhold back in 2004 and now we mourn the loss of Grandpa. And as grief is odd and hard to translate into anything coherent I will instead fall back on one of the old cliches and tell you who Grandpa was to me by telling a story.
At some point in the past, the late 90's or so I was at Rainbow for a week of camp. By this time I had already attended several summers and had fallen in love with the annual ritual of attending camp, riding horses, and growing spiritually in ways that took the rest of the year to fully process. This year was no exception, and as the normal camp routine on thursday night dictated we watched a movie called The Harvest. Even then I knew the story well, so I listened to it more than I actually watched and let my thoughts drift around the themes the story discussed. At the end the staff always use the film to present the gospel and allow the opportunity for campers to respond and have one on one conversations. Although I was quite assured of my salvation I took advantage of the opportunity to talk to a staff member and discuss what had been stirring in my heart and what we in Christian circles summarize as "the call". Well that night I ended up paired with Grandpa Reinhold.
He looked at me with those gentle eyes that always seemed to look right into the depths of your soul and loved you anyway. He asked me what was on my heart, and I rambled for what felt like hours. I told him how I didn't know why or how it would look but that I felt called into some kind of ministry, and even though I had no clue what that would lead to (and in some ways I still don't) I knew the next step was to work there. Grandpa just looked at me, and with absolutely no condemnation, ridicule, or doubt just smiled and then placed both of his huge hands on my shoulders and began to pray over me. And the next year (whenever it was) I started on the road to working at camp. It was a long journey and one fraught with devastation and triumph. I grew a lot at that camp, and through that time Grandpa was often a voice of comfort and encouragement. Even when my confidence in myself wavered, or when I had done something incredibly stupid Grandpa would smile and with surprising gentleness would spur us on to greater things.
The craziest thing about this story? It's not unique at all. In my own memory it is one sliver of almost a decade of time spent there at that camp, and these moments were so frequent as to be almost taken for granted. I say almost because they always meant the world to us every time they happened. The other thing you should know (and I suspect some of you might) is that my experience was only one of (at minimum) hundreds of others who experienced the same. If the greatness of a man is measured in how he does justly, loves mercy, and walks humbly with God then Grandpa Reinhold was among the greatest men I have ever known. And in the same way that I cannot wait to meet my own Father on the other side of this mortal coil as a man whole and without sickness, I cannot wait to see all of the stories I was told fully realized and see the soul reunited with a body that can finally keep up.
But tragically, that day is not today… So, farewell Grandpa. my mentor, my guide, my example, my encourager, my brother in christ, and my friend. I will see you again. But not yet… Instead may we all be worthy of the mantle you passed to each and every one of us that grew up under your teaching. You are missed, and you are loved.
Saturday, January 17, 2015
The pain of blessing; Walking among giants
Yesterday was a day of incredible
blessing, and one of the (at least recently) most difficult things
I've ever done. Yesterday I climbed into my new car, and drove off
for another brief time in Wyoming.
For those of you in the know, this may
cause some puzzlement. Why should getting a astronomically huge
upgrade in vehicles cause any sort of emotional difficulty? I mean, I
drove a car that I loved to be frustrated with and that had major
breakdowns on a semi-annual basis. Not to mention the convenient vent
holes in the rusted out body panels, or the windows that would
happily roll down... but only roll back up through a heroic feat of
strength. And why would it be sad to say farewell to the purposefully
avoided thought that I drive all over the midwest and the car doesn't
have a spare tire for the increasingly likely event of a flat. Well
on the one had it's sad because that car was a huge blessing regardless.
That car was a gift from a dear brother
at a time of need. I had recently lost my other vehicle to a
collision with a deer and was without a vehicle or the means to acquire
one. And in that place of helplessness my friend gifted me my little green car. A car
that we had both spent countless hours driving/riding around in
during high school. A car filled with good memory and well-earned
rust and dust. And it served me well for over three years. I learned
to drive a manual in that car, and to keep a set of earplugs handy
because it out roared most heavy machinery for the first two years
until I could get the muffler fixed once again.
I learned how to pull a starter out of
that car and that a stubborn starter can sometimes be awakened with a
hammer. I took that car to camp for three summers, and it faithfully
got me there, faithfully had some major mechanical issue while I was
there, and newly repaired faithfully carried me home again.
I will miss that stupid thing... it was
a daily reminder of grace and provision. Not abundance, but enough.
And now I look at the car that I own
and I struggle calling it mine. Because forever in my mind this car
is my father's. Sleek, black, and filled with a host of modern bells
a whistles it is a thing of beauty. I loved this car when it first
replaced our old “canadian battlewagon” during the cash for
clunkers program. And I loved this car whenever I borrowed it for
short periods to drive around town.
Me and my little brother took this car
to Chicago when we moved him home... and for a very brief moment we
thought that it had been stolen (and it had in a perfectly legal but
no less annoying manner). I remember this car sitting in the garage
for the last two years. Every time any of us would return home there it
would be, as a steady reminder that its driver was gone, but he would
never be forgotten. And in a very real sense that car was a comfort
of the greater things my heavenly father was gifting my earthly one
even now.
And now I own that car. And I am
ecstatic and sad. Because that is my dad's car. And it's like a small
hug to be able to feel his presence every time I see it. But I also
can't help but know that there now is an empty garage at my mothers
house because of that blessing. And I can't help but be reminded that
dad is gone, and that he won't be returning to take back his car.
I was swamped with all of that joy,
sorrow, and a surprising amount of raw pain right as I was saying
good bye to my mother. As we both stood in the doorway to the garage
she said “it's yours now” and completely against my better
judgment I burst out crying and said “no it's not” after an
indeterminate amount of time, several long hugs and more tears than
my precious male ego would tolerate in almost any other context I got
in the car and drove off...
It's amazing how humbling it is to be
blessed so completely over the last month. I was surrounded by a
family that I love dearly for almost the entire time. And I got more
sleep than I have in years. Coming up on two years without dad it
still remains a bit odd to not have him there. And as I played with
my cute nephew bearing his namesake this last week the bittersweet rolled over me
again and again.
So why the title? Well... I've said
what seems like hundreds of times now that this sort of pain is good.
Because the loss (and the blessings) are the result of an incredible
group of people that I get to call family. Would that all people be so
blessed this side of heaven.
Saturday, July 26, 2014
3.22 The End. (again)
This week was a blessing and a great note to go out on. We had a large group of 7th and 8th graders and it was a pleasure to see a totally different style of directing implemented this week. I definitely learned a few things.
This week we went to a "new" lake (for us) and it was fun and exciting. I got to work on the pontoon crew again and had an enjoyable comparison to years past where I was indispensable on that job, but this year I'm just an option. It was a good feeling.
This week was my last working with Hunter on the cliff... it has been a joy and a learning experience to see his quiet strength at work day in and day out. How he's gracious, silly, and loves what he does. He never set out to teach me anything (other than a few new knots and how to aussie) but I learned a great deal by observing. I'm really looking forward to another year together at Grace.
I also faced my terror (I'm afraid of heights) and rappelled Aussie-style twice this week! For those that don't know, rappelling is normally a sitting position where you lean back and walk/run/jump backwards down a wall or cliff. Since Australia is the land down under, or upside down to where we're at... Aussie-style is where you rappel face first, leaning so far forward you're running down a cliff in defiance of the natural gravitational order. It was a fairly large accomplishment for me to do it the first time... so I had to do it again to prove to myself that it wasn't just a fluke. (A group of campers even witnessed the first one)
and finally the highlight of the week, and possibly the summer... In my scarce posts this year (22 is about a third of the amount I have done in years past. Granted this summer was 14 days shorter... but still) I have talked a little bit about my internal struggles with finding significance and/or finding my place at camp this year. This was partially put to rest when I was given the privilege of being a counselor for a week (my boys were great!) and finally buried with a stake through the heart yesterday afternoon in our end-of-the-week meeting. Captain Tibbs (or mild mannered Adam if you prefer) decided, entirely unbeknownst to me, to allow time for people to share a way that I had impacted them this year, or a camp story that we had together. It was humbling, encouraging, and generally shocking to me how many people shared... and how it wasn't just shallow stuff... Turns out God has been doing more through me than I ever realized. I can't take credit for that... and it was a perfect end to a wonky year.
So, Where does that leave us now? I'll continue to write and post periodically for a short time as I figure out what the next year is looking like. I often process through writing and when that's possible to share I will (but if this summer is an indicator then more of that will need to stay off the web than years past).
The immediate future looks a little like this:
-return to Rapid City tonight
-do laundry/rest/etc. for a few days
-Drive from Rapid City to Omaha on Tuesday
-Get integrated/trained for my new job at the school in Omaha
-Go on the RA trip for a week
-Return to Grace and complete final prep for new students arrival
-start classes
And that all happens in the next month (or less). I'll also need to find a second part-time job relatively quick after the start of classes. And there are a few other semi-important things brewing as well. It's shaping up to be a great year already!
Thank you for walking this journey with me this summer. I hope you stick around, but know I appreciate all of the prayer, comments, and encouragement more than I can adequately express.
-Nick
This week we went to a "new" lake (for us) and it was fun and exciting. I got to work on the pontoon crew again and had an enjoyable comparison to years past where I was indispensable on that job, but this year I'm just an option. It was a good feeling.
This week was my last working with Hunter on the cliff... it has been a joy and a learning experience to see his quiet strength at work day in and day out. How he's gracious, silly, and loves what he does. He never set out to teach me anything (other than a few new knots and how to aussie) but I learned a great deal by observing. I'm really looking forward to another year together at Grace.
I also faced my terror (I'm afraid of heights) and rappelled Aussie-style twice this week! For those that don't know, rappelling is normally a sitting position where you lean back and walk/run/jump backwards down a wall or cliff. Since Australia is the land down under, or upside down to where we're at... Aussie-style is where you rappel face first, leaning so far forward you're running down a cliff in defiance of the natural gravitational order. It was a fairly large accomplishment for me to do it the first time... so I had to do it again to prove to myself that it wasn't just a fluke. (A group of campers even witnessed the first one)
and finally the highlight of the week, and possibly the summer... In my scarce posts this year (22 is about a third of the amount I have done in years past. Granted this summer was 14 days shorter... but still) I have talked a little bit about my internal struggles with finding significance and/or finding my place at camp this year. This was partially put to rest when I was given the privilege of being a counselor for a week (my boys were great!) and finally buried with a stake through the heart yesterday afternoon in our end-of-the-week meeting. Captain Tibbs (or mild mannered Adam if you prefer) decided, entirely unbeknownst to me, to allow time for people to share a way that I had impacted them this year, or a camp story that we had together. It was humbling, encouraging, and generally shocking to me how many people shared... and how it wasn't just shallow stuff... Turns out God has been doing more through me than I ever realized. I can't take credit for that... and it was a perfect end to a wonky year.
So, Where does that leave us now? I'll continue to write and post periodically for a short time as I figure out what the next year is looking like. I often process through writing and when that's possible to share I will (but if this summer is an indicator then more of that will need to stay off the web than years past).
The immediate future looks a little like this:
-return to Rapid City tonight
-do laundry/rest/etc. for a few days
-Drive from Rapid City to Omaha on Tuesday
-Get integrated/trained for my new job at the school in Omaha
-Go on the RA trip for a week
-Return to Grace and complete final prep for new students arrival
-start classes
And that all happens in the next month (or less). I'll also need to find a second part-time job relatively quick after the start of classes. And there are a few other semi-important things brewing as well. It's shaping up to be a great year already!
Thank you for walking this journey with me this summer. I hope you stick around, but know I appreciate all of the prayer, comments, and encouragement more than I can adequately express.
-Nick
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
3.21 Rambling introspection? Don't mind if I do.
A week goes by again... and no blog posts. In short it was a great week, we had 90+ kids here at camp and that kept us all on our toes. I was a bit worn out by the end and needed as much sleep as physically possible.
And now I'm going to talk about another thing. Because I can.
Yesterday I was out at the rappelling cliff (some people use walls, we have a cliff, we're cool like that) and at the end of one of the groups had the opportunity to rappel down. (it was faster, and more fun than hiking around) and as I was getting set and positioning myself on the top part the kids started yelling advice up at me. Apparently when I'm taking my time and getting my balance (easier said than done at the top for us tall types) I look like I have no idea what I'm doing. I mostly ignored the advice and waited for my comrade to hook in as well, because it's more impressive when the kids can see both of us speeding down the wall. (He always wins but he also goes aussie-style and I don't)
As I started down the cliff at a rapid pace I couldn't help but chuckle, both because of the exhilaration of the wind and the heat from the rope warming the glove on my brake hand, as well as the fact that all of the advice from below almost immediately changed to exclamations of surprise.
As I was unclipping a few seconds later at the bottom of the cliff I had a moment of clarity. How I rappel is how I do a lot of things. I'm not super great at starting usually... It takes me a little while and a few shaky steps to get comfortably setup and prepared for the rest of a task. I have found this to be true in returning to school (my grades were decent from the start but have improved steadily) to jobs I've worked in the past where I jump from rookie to competent in a very short time... but when I'm a rookie I'm quite a rookie.
This also applies to my internal life, searching for churches and struggling to find a family.. but once I'm past the awkward start I have relationships and friendships for years. Or this applies to romantic relationships... most die in the completely awkward stage because I'm not good at starting. But investing and maintaining? that I can do fairly well. (at least most days)
I know this is a bit introspective and you're wondering why this should matter to you or anyone for that matter. (Let me tell you, come closer) It matters because people all around us learn a host of things about our character and personality based on things that we don't even think about. All of the signals that we give off without intending to are road signs to our internal struggles or serenity. While you can attempt to mask those signals (some have more proficiency in this than others) or we can give false indicators in the end our soul will shine through. I would encourage you to become proficient in reading your own signals, not so that you can become more proficient in deceiving people but that you can know yourself better and in so doing you can know your weaknesses in a very honest sense.
I'm sure this made more sense to me than It does to you, and I'm ok with that. (after all it's my blog)
Blessings Friends!
-Nick
Monday, July 14, 2014
3.20 The 5 B's and the beginning of the end. (as well as the end of last week)
I once again realized that I've moved from the realm of slight neglect into something more serious with this space... whoops.
Last week took a lot more out of me than I initially anticipated. On the on hand I really wanted to do the job of being a counselor well. I wanted the boys who were "stuck" with me to have a fun time and deepen their walk with God. Both are objectives I think we achieved. However I was unable or unwilling to give up the limited amounts of sleep I was able to acquire in order to post updates. My apologies for the frustration, but I'd like to think I've got my priorities straight.
The week was an incredible success. We took all of the boys (all 8 campers) out to a "secret guys campfire" a short hike away from camp. By the time we'd hiked out and back... they were ready for bed and hopefully remembered something a little special about that time with the guys. I know all of the staff who went along will remember that night for a while.
The title of this writing also shows another major development in the timeline. The five B's are a concept that I heard from Dr. Linder back at GraceU. They are as follows: "be brief, baby, be brief" and I'll try to do the same for the sake of time and sanity at this juncture. In short my time at camp is drawing to a close shortly. In roughly 10 days (the 25th) I will conclude my last day at camp for the year. And a few short days after I'll be back in Omaha (Lord willing at least) to begin my new(ish) job as an RD at the school. It'll be crazy and wonderful... and require all kinds of energy and whatnot. I'm looking forward to it, and hoping that my recovering from (most of) a summer at camp will not hinder my ability to do that job well. I also feel for my comrades here who will complete two more weeks of camp after I leave before they go their separate ways. I've never not finished before... and that's tough.
This week (and next) I'm back on the rappelling wall where I began the year. And it's a great job... but I'm starting to carry a little bit more physical stress and fatigue. Please keep me in your prayers as I strive to do the best that I can, and to be as present as I can with whatever I've got in the next few weeks.
In some ways I'm beginning to feel an emotional and spiritual pull in many different directions (here, Omaha, South Dakota, and elsewhere) and while those pulls are all absolutely fantastic. I'm not really giving most of it the attention it deserves. Or at least that's what it feels like.
I know this is cryptic and not nearly as thorough as you or I would like, but... Here I sit, surprised by life, content with joy, and just generally focusing on the positive and not letting the host of reasons (why all of the things I'm dealing with or facing soon should crush me and so forth) to ruin the blessings I have experienced and seen.
The Lion is on the Move... and every so often he lets me ride along.
-Nick
Last week took a lot more out of me than I initially anticipated. On the on hand I really wanted to do the job of being a counselor well. I wanted the boys who were "stuck" with me to have a fun time and deepen their walk with God. Both are objectives I think we achieved. However I was unable or unwilling to give up the limited amounts of sleep I was able to acquire in order to post updates. My apologies for the frustration, but I'd like to think I've got my priorities straight.
The week was an incredible success. We took all of the boys (all 8 campers) out to a "secret guys campfire" a short hike away from camp. By the time we'd hiked out and back... they were ready for bed and hopefully remembered something a little special about that time with the guys. I know all of the staff who went along will remember that night for a while.
The title of this writing also shows another major development in the timeline. The five B's are a concept that I heard from Dr. Linder back at GraceU. They are as follows: "be brief, baby, be brief" and I'll try to do the same for the sake of time and sanity at this juncture. In short my time at camp is drawing to a close shortly. In roughly 10 days (the 25th) I will conclude my last day at camp for the year. And a few short days after I'll be back in Omaha (Lord willing at least) to begin my new(ish) job as an RD at the school. It'll be crazy and wonderful... and require all kinds of energy and whatnot. I'm looking forward to it, and hoping that my recovering from (most of) a summer at camp will not hinder my ability to do that job well. I also feel for my comrades here who will complete two more weeks of camp after I leave before they go their separate ways. I've never not finished before... and that's tough.
This week (and next) I'm back on the rappelling wall where I began the year. And it's a great job... but I'm starting to carry a little bit more physical stress and fatigue. Please keep me in your prayers as I strive to do the best that I can, and to be as present as I can with whatever I've got in the next few weeks.
In some ways I'm beginning to feel an emotional and spiritual pull in many different directions (here, Omaha, South Dakota, and elsewhere) and while those pulls are all absolutely fantastic. I'm not really giving most of it the attention it deserves. Or at least that's what it feels like.
I know this is cryptic and not nearly as thorough as you or I would like, but... Here I sit, surprised by life, content with joy, and just generally focusing on the positive and not letting the host of reasons (why all of the things I'm dealing with or facing soon should crush me and so forth) to ruin the blessings I have experienced and seen.
The Lion is on the Move... and every so often he lets me ride along.
-Nick
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
3.19 The tiny ninja's arrive!
The day dawned early (or it felt early at least). A few short hours later it moved into the routine of starting the week. We got our assignments for campers and I had a whopping two kids!
They're great but they are tiny ninja's. Even when they're on board with the plan... 5 seconds and a shiney thing later they vanish. One of the staff jokingly said that "i'm keeping better track of your kids than you are" which isn't entirely untrue... because they aren't running off on purpose. They're just the 3rd grade versions of my attention span.
Short story... we're having tons of fun. And we're working out our sense of normal for the week. And now I'm out of time.
Monday, July 7, 2014
3.18 The week I directed, Part 2
Part 2 of the lost week.
The week began (and ended) with 40+
kids at camp. A crazy and energetic bunch that brought lots of things
they wanted and needed to talk about with us. The crew jumped right
into the schedule as if it was a great plan and that it was going to
be a wonderful thing. The only downside is that almost immediately
the rain began to play havok with the aforementioned schedule. We
quickly became good at trying to figure out how to fit activities
into smaller pieces of time and how to stay under cover so that the
incredible light and fire show in the sky would stay up there and not
come arcing down to earth via a human being.
The staff and kids remained upbeat
through the whole thing and right on schedule (I know! I kept
wondering what was going on too!) we gathered for worship and Bible
teaching. By the middle of the week all of the kids were beating most
of their counselors to chapel (and for a few it was a highlight of
camp!) I didn't make it to all of them... but every time that I did I
was blessed, encouraged, and exhorted to grow. It was a blessing to
be sure.
Sadly the water games that were one of
the highlights of planning and that I was quite looking forward to,
were rained out rather thoroughly, instead we played mission
impossible indoors and it went quite well. By the time thursday
rolled around I could honestly say that Whatever I had envisioned for
the week the routine wasn't that.
However I told the staff on the weekend
before that the goal was to “Love God and Love people” and in
that arena the week went incredibly well. I don't think any of the
kids went home without knowing that we cared about them, regardless
of behavior. It was a complete win in that arena.
Also we have a tradition of select
staff members giving their testimonies Mon-Wed nights at the campfire
and then giving the opportunity on Thursday for the campers to share
theirs if they feel so inclined. I was completely blown away...
Usually there are a few random stories by kids who are trying to put
together the moving parts of a testimony (kinda like a little kid
trying to figure out humor) and a few decent ones. But not this
week... this week they were all hard hitting and powerful accounts of
God working in their lives. It was humbling. And when it came time to
head to cabins... the rain just encouraged everyone to stay put.
Friday night I grilled some burgers for
those who remained at camp and it was a great pleasure to see
everyone sitting around enjoying good food and celebrating a job well
done. We also knocked off the rust and played a little bit of indoor
soccer which mostly involved greg and the mcneel boys running circles
around the rest of us... but a ton of fun anyway :)
I headed home for the week off... which
was a blur of lots of sleep, world cup games on TV, great
conversations and meals with mum, four-wheeling, shooting, seeing
dear friends, and eventually rolling back out to camp last night.
A few short hours from now we begin
staff training for a week of 3rd and 4th
graders! And I get the incredible privilege of being a counselor! I
can't wait! I'm still hoping to get short updates in semi-daily but
that's always a bit tough as a counselor so consider yourselves
warned.
3 short weeks left before I'm done at
camp for the year... and a few days after I'll be moving back into my
housing at Grace. So many blessings. If you took the time to read
this... know you are loved.
Monday, June 30, 2014
3.17 The first sign of life. (and part 1 of the week)
For those of you who were not aware, last year I was asked to direct a week of camp. This means a host of planning and operational responsibilities dealing with a specific 5 days. I must not have messed it up too bad because they asked me to try it again for a week this year. That week began on the 22nd and technically ended the 27th. But it is no accident that I took until now to update again.
I will admit the best of intentions and thought that just maybe I might be able to update during the week this year... a hope that was quickly dashed Sunday afternoon as my carefully laid plans came crashing down and a series of improvisations began.
In comparison to last year this week was a rousing success. I was more confident in my ability to navigate the schedule and knew much more of what to expect and could take some comfort in the brief moments where I could sit and relax before another issue arose that required my attention. However this week was a study in dramatic contradictions and difficulties.
I had far less support this week than I did last year, both in my superiors time spent at camp and just the raw number of staff present this year. I can't say enough good things about the crew that was there (and I'll touch on a few highlights further on) and I know that many who I asked would have quickly joined us if circumstances were different. Keeping that in mind I've heard it said that "God provides the staff that you need each year" and this year that was true, however I didn't get any extra. To the point that I had to ask some of the staff to take on a disproportionate amount of work and wear multiple hats in order to make things happen smoothly. Two of the gals bore most of this responsibility and my expectation was that they would perform the necessary aspects of both jobs and likely not excel at either, much to my surprise neither were content to just meet the bare minimum and pushed for excellence. This resulted in them both being frustrated and exhausted by the end of the week... but they have every right to be proud of the work they did (and possibly mad at me for asking that much of them).
Secondly we had a few very difficult calls to make this week in regards to discipline. I won't go into a lot of specifics because they're not terribly important, but I do want to go through some of my mental process to shed some light for those who were there, and for those that will likely evaluate my decisions later on in the year. At camp we have a firm conviction that any kid who wants to come to camp should be allowed to, regardless of financial ability or past discipline problems. Many of us came up through camps and other organizations that taught us what Grace meant in a very practical sense and we see that as something we need to pass on to the next generation. A responsibility I completely agree with and take very seriously. However there is a time when justice or discipline must also be considered as the most loving route. This does not cause grace to diminish nor will forgiveness be denied in any way... Sometimes a bad thing is the best option.
I remember talking to a young father not too long ago (I bet he'll recognize himself, but I didn't ask his permission to share this story, hence the anonymity) who was frustrated with the behavior of his son. The man and his wife had planned/prepared a tasty supper for their son as well as a delicious dessert of fresh raspberries (one of the child's favorites) but during the course of the regular meal the young boy decided that he was done eating. He picked up his food and threw it across the room and at his parents. In the boldness that only small (or particularly recalcitrant) children can convincingly muster he looked at his dad and said "raspberries?" The father, not being one to forsake his parental responsibility told his son no. He explained lovingly that the boy had chosen wrongly and his actions had consequences, including the loss of dessert that night. In the same way that the father in this story was frustrated by the responsibility of caring enough to remain consistent and loving while also wanting to give good things to his child I too was stuck in that place with some of the decisions this week. And because unless you're already in the loop this probably seems incredibly vague... Hopefully it'll be helpful for those who walked that road with me. But regardless, I'll move on. (read Proverbs 3:12 on this too)
In what little training we could get done as a group on the weekend, I presented a challenge to the staff. We took on the simple challenge of "Love God, Love others". A profoundly difficult reality, but in my mind a week ago was something that needed to be the core of success. As a matter of fact it seemed to be the only thing that mattered. (something that became more and more true as the week went on, but I'll leave that until part 2) I also got the chance to see 'my' worship leader in action as he led the staff in group worship/prayer sessions in lieu of training due to complications. Despite the behind the scenes chaos I could see and feel the presence of God, and the week hadn't even begun.
Next time on the N-Quadrant. Kids, kids, everywhere! Rain, rain, come again! (all week long) and the shadow of doubt.
Thanks for coming back even when I don't update for a week :)
-Nick
I will admit the best of intentions and thought that just maybe I might be able to update during the week this year... a hope that was quickly dashed Sunday afternoon as my carefully laid plans came crashing down and a series of improvisations began.
In comparison to last year this week was a rousing success. I was more confident in my ability to navigate the schedule and knew much more of what to expect and could take some comfort in the brief moments where I could sit and relax before another issue arose that required my attention. However this week was a study in dramatic contradictions and difficulties.
I had far less support this week than I did last year, both in my superiors time spent at camp and just the raw number of staff present this year. I can't say enough good things about the crew that was there (and I'll touch on a few highlights further on) and I know that many who I asked would have quickly joined us if circumstances were different. Keeping that in mind I've heard it said that "God provides the staff that you need each year" and this year that was true, however I didn't get any extra. To the point that I had to ask some of the staff to take on a disproportionate amount of work and wear multiple hats in order to make things happen smoothly. Two of the gals bore most of this responsibility and my expectation was that they would perform the necessary aspects of both jobs and likely not excel at either, much to my surprise neither were content to just meet the bare minimum and pushed for excellence. This resulted in them both being frustrated and exhausted by the end of the week... but they have every right to be proud of the work they did (and possibly mad at me for asking that much of them).
Secondly we had a few very difficult calls to make this week in regards to discipline. I won't go into a lot of specifics because they're not terribly important, but I do want to go through some of my mental process to shed some light for those who were there, and for those that will likely evaluate my decisions later on in the year. At camp we have a firm conviction that any kid who wants to come to camp should be allowed to, regardless of financial ability or past discipline problems. Many of us came up through camps and other organizations that taught us what Grace meant in a very practical sense and we see that as something we need to pass on to the next generation. A responsibility I completely agree with and take very seriously. However there is a time when justice or discipline must also be considered as the most loving route. This does not cause grace to diminish nor will forgiveness be denied in any way... Sometimes a bad thing is the best option.
I remember talking to a young father not too long ago (I bet he'll recognize himself, but I didn't ask his permission to share this story, hence the anonymity) who was frustrated with the behavior of his son. The man and his wife had planned/prepared a tasty supper for their son as well as a delicious dessert of fresh raspberries (one of the child's favorites) but during the course of the regular meal the young boy decided that he was done eating. He picked up his food and threw it across the room and at his parents. In the boldness that only small (or particularly recalcitrant) children can convincingly muster he looked at his dad and said "raspberries?" The father, not being one to forsake his parental responsibility told his son no. He explained lovingly that the boy had chosen wrongly and his actions had consequences, including the loss of dessert that night. In the same way that the father in this story was frustrated by the responsibility of caring enough to remain consistent and loving while also wanting to give good things to his child I too was stuck in that place with some of the decisions this week. And because unless you're already in the loop this probably seems incredibly vague... Hopefully it'll be helpful for those who walked that road with me. But regardless, I'll move on. (read Proverbs 3:12 on this too)
In what little training we could get done as a group on the weekend, I presented a challenge to the staff. We took on the simple challenge of "Love God, Love others". A profoundly difficult reality, but in my mind a week ago was something that needed to be the core of success. As a matter of fact it seemed to be the only thing that mattered. (something that became more and more true as the week went on, but I'll leave that until part 2) I also got the chance to see 'my' worship leader in action as he led the staff in group worship/prayer sessions in lieu of training due to complications. Despite the behind the scenes chaos I could see and feel the presence of God, and the week hadn't even begun.
Next time on the N-Quadrant. Kids, kids, everywhere! Rain, rain, come again! (all week long) and the shadow of doubt.
Thanks for coming back even when I don't update for a week :)
-Nick
Friday, June 20, 2014
3.16 The one with 1000 words.
So I'm directing next week... and because of that this picture seems to capture the current "update"
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
3.15 a list of issues to pray for
Things to remember in your prayers:
Several of the staff are fighting illnesses, in perhaps a perfect storm these are also some of the new staff. So in a team ministry when one is struggling it ripples. So everyone is working a little harder.
Combine this with the fact that the summer staff is a little smaller this year and chores are a little larger and it's an endurance game to be sure.
Also we've got a huge group of great campers, who we love but are not short on challenges. Pray for wisdom and patience as we desk with them.
I'm beginning to get sore from being on my feet too long (happens every summer), it wasn't as quick to set in as wrangling but that's the first sign that I'm running low on fuel. And I've gotta direct next week...
Tomorrow we do the last rappelling for the week and we've got an all camp activity called the "amazing (g)race" which should be fairly awesome.
Breakfast comes soon and I need all the sleep I can get. Gnite my friends
3.14 Lake day! and prep for next week.
Today we went to the lake and swam, splashed and generally got sand (and a few ants) everywhere. The kids seemed to enjoy it and as I watched from the fire pit they also seemed to plop into bedtime a bit easier too.
I took the morning to do "directerly" things and spent the morning on the phone, texting, calling, and otherwise trying to tie up as many loose ends for next week as possible. But despite that I'm still showing a few gaps.
So... Please remember me/us in your prayers as I try to pull it together here. Last year I planned out a lot of things, many of which didn't work out but at least looked decent before camp started. This year... The pre-camp process (recruiting, coordinating schedules so we don't run into conflicts etc) has been very difficult to get done. At this point I'm doing what I can but I'm also trusting and praying that God provides what He has planned because I'm not entirely sure how it's going to work out.
And on that note... I'm going to bed. We've got a full day of activities planned tomorrow and the ropes don't set themselves up before breakfast.
I took the morning to do "directerly" things and spent the morning on the phone, texting, calling, and otherwise trying to tie up as many loose ends for next week as possible. But despite that I'm still showing a few gaps.
So... Please remember me/us in your prayers as I try to pull it together here. Last year I planned out a lot of things, many of which didn't work out but at least looked decent before camp started. This year... The pre-camp process (recruiting, coordinating schedules so we don't run into conflicts etc) has been very difficult to get done. At this point I'm doing what I can but I'm also trusting and praying that God provides what He has planned because I'm not entirely sure how it's going to work out.
And on that note... I'm going to bed. We've got a full day of activities planned tomorrow and the ropes don't set themselves up before breakfast.
Monday, June 16, 2014
3.13 the day of firsts
Today was the first day with campers living here. The first day I was rappelling crew instead of a wrangler. The first day I led night games for the summer. And in all cases it was a successful day.
We've got a fairly challenging group of kids this week in many ways. A handful of em are a bit hard to manage and many others are just hyper and push us because we're not into our stride yet. Pray that we can rise to the challenges.
It was a great day though. I hurt in peculiar places from hard work at things I don't do often, but it was fun and fulfilling.
However tomorrow is lake day (due to weather it was moved up to Tuesday) and I need my sleep.
-Nick
P.s. thank you from the depths of my soul for all of the support and encouragement yesterday, it was very powerful.
Sunday, June 15, 2014
3.12 In which it gets real...
Fathers day.
Once an easy, barely noteworthy, day. A day when I told my dad that he did a great job as a father and he tried to dodge the compliment (turns out I'm more like him than I knew back then). But saying my dad was a great father seemed almost as redundant as him saying that he loved us. It meant a great deal collectively, but in the moment it was such an obvious truth and so normal that it was routine. I remember many times rolling my eyes when dad would ask us "guess what?!" to which we'd inevitably roll our eyes and he'd say "I love you a whole bunch".
I can clearly remember the last time I spoke to my father, a few days before he left for Minnesota. We talked about my decision to go back to college by way of Grace University, we talked about the things I'd been reading in the word lately and we got a little excited (or heated depending on who you ask) and didn't end the conversation on a complete resolution. He still wasn't sure I was making a completely informed decision and I was sick of trying to convince him that day. I figured I'd have a solid 8 months or so to make my point so we agreed to table it for a few weeks. I packed up my things, loaded my car, did a quick walk-through of the guest room and bathroom to make sure I didn't forget anything and then slipped out the side door to leave. As I was halfway to the driveway dad came bursting out of the door, quick-walked up to me and said "guess what I forgot?" I chuckled, gave him a hug and he told me he loved me. Then I walked to my car and drove off. And the oddest thing was he stood on the front porch and watched me drive off... and the next time I saw him he was lying in a hospital bed in the Mayo Clinic, and even though I got to talk at him... we never had the privilege of speaking again. I don't even know if he heard us.
It has been a year and a half later, and most days I can live confident in the fact that my Father is in the company of the savior that he loved far more than he did me and my siblings, or my mother. I can rest assured that I was blessed beyond measure to have 26 years of a wonderful dad, something many would consider akin to a fairy-tale. I can be proud of my father for being tough on his sons because he viewed his job as training us not to need him. A job he did well... and one that we needed far sooner than any of us expected.
But days like today... When the whole country is told to appreciate fathers. None of those things are foremost in my mind. They're there to be sure... but they're overshadowed by the fact that it just hurts. It hurts to know my nephews joyfully greet their uncles and aunts, and ask about Oma (grandma in dutch tradition) but that they will never know their Opa. It hurts that my little sister doesn't have her daddy to call up on the phone and talk through the day with. It hurts that when I make a decision I'm always a bit uncertain because I haven't had the opportunity to run it by dad and answer his concerns and questions. It hurts to see my mother living the painful reality that "death do us part" is part of this journey too. And it hurts that I'll probably never hear the comparison "you're so like your dad" again.
And so today... I'm skipping church and I'm going to taco johns for lunch. Not because that's anything special or significant. But because today... I'm not strong enough to get jokingly asked by clueless people if I called my dad, or to see the pitying looks of those in the know when this "should" be a day of joy. You have your joy and special fathers day service, I have no grudge whatsoever... But I'll take my pain and go eat tacos. And this afternoon when it's time to start a fresh week of camp. I'll do my best to put that away and work as hard as I can to do the best job I can. After all that's one of the many things my father taught me, and a lesson that he lived well.
-Nick
3.11 A "guest" post
Coherency is in short supply and today is a tough day for me. So rather than stumbling through a post right now in going to highly recommend you go read this:
http://www.stpetersfireside.org/2014/06/fathers-day-superheroes-villains-meet/
An article written by my incredibly talented sister about father's day. I hope you enjoy it, I know I sure did.
Friday, June 13, 2014
3.10 The best way to kill an audience is to stop delivering content... oops
As promised here's a more substantial update! When last we saw our hero the tail end of VBS was in sight. He was optimistic about the upcoming archery event and was filled with idle daydreams where tiny robin hood esqe children fired bows with extreme accuracy and glee. Sadly this was not the reality that greeted him. The day dawned bright as the two before, slightly warm but not uncomfortably so. But this day (wednesday) was not like his two older brothers, for wednesday possessed the gift of a cool northwesterly wind. And Wednesday did so enjoy using his gift upon the unprepared children who were chilly and in danger of being miserable at the archery range. But never fear! Our hero leapt to the challenge and through a combination of charisma and raw brute strength succeeded in entertaining the children by giving them rides on his back and racing them across the open field to keep them warm and happy.
Thursday was a day of training... training, and more training. and that afternoon we conducted our annual rite of passage to walk out to the cross and sign our names. (one of my favorite "new" traditions) And that was the easy part... from there we hiked (blindfolded) in partners for what seemed like quite a while, played 4-team tug-of-war and then hiked for another few miles to our eventual campsite for the night. As always the "adventure" of assembling our tents was a challenge and after adding some para-cord to one of the tents it was in good shape. The other tent sadly was missing a few of its posts so we made it into an impromptu A-frame by re-purposing four of the pole sections into large stakes and tying off the corners with another length of para cord. (I was really glad I remembered to bring a bundle of that stuff).
Many hot dogs were consumed, and in the morning even more bacon. Probably the best breakfast I've ever had at camp this year (if not ever) was eaten and thankfully we only had to hike to the top of a nearby hill to catch a ride back to camp.
Today we cleaned... and cleaned, and cleaned, and generally put the finishing touches on the camp in preparation for our big open-house tomorrow. The place looks great and it'll be fun to share it with everyone. We even hung the banners in the main hall straight! Which involved me scampering up a 20 foot ladder to hammer them into place... it was a terrifying process but they do look good (if I do say so myself).
And on that note... I need to make my sleeping quarters presentable to the public tomorrow, and perhaps help with a lil kitchen prep. So I should hit the hay.
Thanks to everyone that texted, emailed, and commented over the last few days wondering what was going on and extending prayers and encouragement. It was greatly appreciated and made a few days of growth into something good.
-Nick
Thursday was a day of training... training, and more training. and that afternoon we conducted our annual rite of passage to walk out to the cross and sign our names. (one of my favorite "new" traditions) And that was the easy part... from there we hiked (blindfolded) in partners for what seemed like quite a while, played 4-team tug-of-war and then hiked for another few miles to our eventual campsite for the night. As always the "adventure" of assembling our tents was a challenge and after adding some para-cord to one of the tents it was in good shape. The other tent sadly was missing a few of its posts so we made it into an impromptu A-frame by re-purposing four of the pole sections into large stakes and tying off the corners with another length of para cord. (I was really glad I remembered to bring a bundle of that stuff).
Many hot dogs were consumed, and in the morning even more bacon. Probably the best breakfast I've ever had at camp this year (if not ever) was eaten and thankfully we only had to hike to the top of a nearby hill to catch a ride back to camp.
Today we cleaned... and cleaned, and cleaned, and generally put the finishing touches on the camp in preparation for our big open-house tomorrow. The place looks great and it'll be fun to share it with everyone. We even hung the banners in the main hall straight! Which involved me scampering up a 20 foot ladder to hammer them into place... it was a terrifying process but they do look good (if I do say so myself).
And on that note... I need to make my sleeping quarters presentable to the public tomorrow, and perhaps help with a lil kitchen prep. So I should hit the hay.
Thanks to everyone that texted, emailed, and commented over the last few days wondering what was going on and extending prayers and encouragement. It was greatly appreciated and made a few days of growth into something good.
-Nick
Thursday, June 12, 2014
3.10 another stealthy short one
We're camping out tonight and it's unlikely I'll have cell service to update. Full update tomorrow my friends.
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
3.8 VBS n other sundry things!
The last two days (and tomorrow) we're pulling half-day schedules. Half of the day we're training in prep for our summer-long jobs, and half of the day we're helping with VBS!
I am on the "target activity" crew. Which means we did BB guns yesterday, tomahawks today, and will do archery tomorrow! It has been quite fun to see the tiny people get into the activities and just generally be excited about almost anything we act excited about.
And after a few hours out on the tomahawk range I also managed to add a new layer of sunburn despite applying sunscreen semi-regularly. unfortunately it wasn't regularly enough I suppose... but I'm starting to get a little bit of a tan on my legs (which is new and exciting) and whatnot.
Umm... I'm pretty tired and spent most of my productive hours this evening doing director-ly things to try and prepare for my week which is rapidly approaching (the 22nd is so soon...) I've got good leads on a few counselors, so it might actually come together but... we'll see.
I'm gonna go to bed. Sleep is a valuable commodity and the caffeine/dew detox is getting a bit rough at times. I imagine it'll be worth it though once it finally gets out of my system. I did also get my 3 nalgenes of water knocked out today, it's getting easier and easier.
Monday, June 9, 2014
3.7 A safe haven indeed.
As you are hopefully aware, the name of the camp where I'm working is Haven on the Rock. A name that was chosen a few years ago as two mighty legacies merged into camp as we know it today. When that name was chosen it resonated with many of us on the board as something that we all recognized or remembered camp being. A safe place, a shelter, a haven.
We have always intended our camp to be a safe place for kids and staff to come together and learn more about Jesus and how He intends this ministry to develop. And it should come as no surprise that once we did so that God ordained broken, hurting, people to be drawn here. I was one of those people even before the name happened and I know I wouldn't be the man I am today without this place. And the healing that can happen in a place like this is nothing short of incredible.
So... Please remember the crew that works incredibly hard to make camp the best it can possibly be. We are committed to making this a safe haven for every child that comes out. And many of us need it too. Pray for an abundance of grace and peace as we move forward into the main stretch of camp and that we're overwhelmed with His presence and love.
And at the risk of leaving it super abstract... I will. Goodnight!
-Nick
We have always intended our camp to be a safe place for kids and staff to come together and learn more about Jesus and how He intends this ministry to develop. And it should come as no surprise that once we did so that God ordained broken, hurting, people to be drawn here. I was one of those people even before the name happened and I know I wouldn't be the man I am today without this place. And the healing that can happen in a place like this is nothing short of incredible.
So... Please remember the crew that works incredibly hard to make camp the best it can possibly be. We are committed to making this a safe haven for every child that comes out. And many of us need it too. Pray for an abundance of grace and peace as we move forward into the main stretch of camp and that we're overwhelmed with His presence and love.
And at the risk of leaving it super abstract... I will. Goodnight!
-Nick
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