Proof that I'm not a morning person

Some days my only goal for the evening is to get to sleep in a timely manner, thus making the early morning looming on the horizon slightly less brutal. Inevitably I'm always up later than I should be on those nights and as tonight was a similar experience I have decided not to use such a predictable and repeated problem as an excuse not to write.

Yesterday I “survived” a compound deadline and got a surprising amount of homework done, so to celebrate I did next to no homework today. Makes sense in the crazy logic of my own head at least... tomorrow I'm off to practicum hours in the morning and the spring leadership retreat in the afternoon, another step toward taking on my eventual responsibilities as a Resident Director here at school. It should be a fairly low-impact kind of day but is also an exciting milestone. I'm sure I'll talk about this lots as the fall rolls around... suffice it to say that some small (or not-so-small) part of me is expecting that good fortune to just vanish into thin air.

If I'm OK with God taking it away (which I am) I should also be OK with the blessing that it looks to be. I've heard that the most difficult times to live out your faith are when things are hard, or when they're really good. After all the apostle Paul said that he learned the secret of being content both in plenty and in want... This conflicts with some old self-deprecating habits and a history of pessimism. While I'm improving and am miles ahead of where I used to be, this is still an internal struggle.

Hmm... what else to talk about tonight... I'm intentionally writing these posts on my laptop while it isn't connected to the internet so that I don't just inundate my posts with links and media clips, not a habit I think I'll do for long but in this small way it has proved productive. However I am still using Spotify to play some music in the background. I mean, why not take advantage of the trappings of “civilization” when they're helpful. Tonight the soundtrack is some old acapella albums by Glad. I haven't decided if I like them because they remind me of good times in high school, or if they are actually good stuff. I may never know...

And on that note I should probably attempt to get some sleep as 6 AM is far too soon. On the off chance that anyone actually reads this... I hope you sleep well as well.