The end. As incoherent and late as ever.

The end of the summer arrived somewhat stealthily, it sneaked onto the end of a week filled with stress and improvisation. It waved from the train as it shot past and before I knew it the bustle of background noise and undeniable evidence of habitation had faded and camp was once again a quiet forlorn place just waiting to be filled with life and passion and laughter and incredibly hard work. It also happened while I was reeling from an emotional snap-punch and by the time I was fully aware of which way was up the team had slipped off into the shadows, back to whatever they do the rest of the year.

It was profoundly heartbreaking to know most likely I'll never see some of them again. At the same time it also gives some contextual value to say that we weren't a collection of lost people (some of us are) looking for something to do for a few months, we were by and large an assortment of passionate servants who put our lives, our jobs, our friendships, relationships, families, and countless other things on hold for two months. 60 days to do a job, grow a team, and change our lives forever. 

Now, here I sit at nearly 120 days from the beginning of the summer. The summer has already slipped into the past, I can't even remember all of the things I wrote about through the course of this blog but I can easily say that I am a better person, a better man because of the two months I spent there. I always go into the summer expecting great things of those around me and I love seeing the growth that can happen in a child in 5 days. Despite this, I never fully expect the profound changes that happen in my own self each summer. On one hand I wish I could work camp year round, but at the same time it's useful to me to have the time to process what the summer was. What was it you may ask? I don't know... but I do know I'm more compassionate than I started out, I am aware and grieved by my own capacity to be petty and mean and being around an incredibly amount of incredible people on the move has inspired me to not be so comfortable where I'm at. 

I recently described where I'm at right now as standing on the top of a rocky column, cliffs all around me. As I look down in many different directions I'm kicking little pebbles off and trying to gauge how they're dropping. It's coming to the point where I'll be jumping... and as the summer has reminded me for a second year in a row, without jumping I wouldn't have two of the best seasons of my life.